.so far.

Friday has welcomed us with yet another wintry storm, filling my window views with beautiful fluffy snow.  As much as I love the stuff, I'm ready for warmer weather and flowers again...especially after the couple of relatively warm and clear days we had this week.  
Finn is fully recovered from his stomach bug, and has been keeping me on my toes more then usual this week.  At his 2 year check up the Dr. asked about safety proofing our house.  I told her we had, but we are about to instigate the next stage of the process as Finn is able to reach into almost every drawer, and anything he can't manage to reach he will find a way to do so.  For example; I made bran muffins for breakfast, which Finn devoured.  For his own health, I told him he couldn't have more then two (because nobody needs more then two bran muffins...no matter how good they taste).  Of course he protested his allotment, and decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Thanks to my four wheeler,  I can just help myself to a few more of these delicious muffins"

He's a problem solver in the most devious ways!

Eventually he moved onto more important things.  Like showing and telling sister all about his car.

She obviously could care less about how the wheels work and the like.
Little miss decided she would take a turn this week with the stomach bug, and it's stuck around far too long for my liking.  She is still eating and giving me wet diapers so I haven't been too concerned, but I would feel a whole lot less anxious if she would stop spitting up.  She's still so little, and everything feels like a threat to this mamma!

I would says it's a good thing she has all those fat reserves to get her through this sickness.  Despite being sick, she is smiling all the time now (even though I haven't captured it yet), and it is absolutely the sweetest thing.  I forgot so much about babies, least of all, how wonderful it is when they start to react to your presence!

.something is better then nothing.

I had an awesome start to last week, eating the right stuff and working hard, but then Wednesday came along.  Finn woke up early because he had thrown up in his crib.  I spent the rest of the day playing Dr. and trying to keep up with the house that had turned inside out on itself.  Thursday, Finn was feeling better, but I pretty much indulged in all the chocolaty goodness, and pizza for Valentines.  Friday I had all the intentions of getting back on track, but at our play date that morning, Finn's stomach bug came back for a second round.  I have the greatest friends who not only cleaned up the entire mess while taking care of Meg, but made sure I was sent home with a change of clothes and plenty of pedialyte.  So again the day was spent taking care of sick Finn.  Ive come to the conclusion that it's easier being sick myself then having sick babies...that pretty much sucks.  Saturday, I actually got up and worked out and ate pretty good, but then Roy and I splurged on eating dinner out that night, and it was wonderful after the long week I had had.  Needless to say I wasn't expecting the scale to do me any justice this morning.

but a pound is a pound, and one that I'll take happily!

.starting out.

Here we go.  I've been officially ok'd back into regular activity.  I've been doing some low impact stuff since about 4 weeks, but now it's all business.  I weighed in this morning at 157 (I was hoping for closer to 155-150), and have about 20 lbs to go to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.  That kinda bites doesn't it?

good morning 157

green smoothie goodness: Kale, plain greek yogurt,
half a banana, a few berries, and 1/4 c of OJ

This is were patience is going to have to play itself out. I've been very frustrated this past week, with really trying to eat well, and even getting out for two runs, only to see a one pound change.  My first run hurt and I was as slow as dirt, but it felt so good to feel my body move in ways it hadn't for 6 months.  My second run hurt even worse, and I was passed by another runner.  Instantly I began to feel pretty frustrated.  Then I reminded myself that I did indeed just have a baby 6 weeks ago and that I was just starting out again, and that it was ok to be slow as long as I was doing something.  So I kept going and pushed through all those negative thoughts, and ran those 2 miles.
The start is the hardest.  That's when everything hurts, and you can't do everything you want to as well as you want to.  It's when your clothes don't fit, people are passing you, and the number on the scale is laughing at you.  But starting is the most important part of the journey, and the one that I appreciate the most when I start seeing progress.  So here's to starting!

.some days.

You know those days where you feel like you just can't catch up, like the WHOLE day from start to finish.  Well I had one of "those" days on Wednesday. It probably had something to do with my two year old being...well a two year old.  In fact it had everything to do with that.  I might have silently prayed for patience more times then I can count, and somehow failed miserably every time Finn whined, threw a tantrum, or just plain got into mischief.  I'm ashamed to say I was probably the worst version of myself for the majority of the day.  I had let the stress of life get to me and overwhelm my ability to cope.  I called Roy later in the evening nearly in tears as I had just sent Finn to another time out, this time in his crib (this is the ultimate time out corner...when he's pushed me to my limits, and we both need a little space).  I told him how bad of a parent I had been that day, and that I had yelled at our son in frustration and anger multiple times.  He tried to console my feelings of inadequacy, but the damage was done for the day.  I told Finn, as I was laying him down for bed, that I loved him and that I would try again the next day to be a better momma, and hopefully he would try to be better too.  Yesterday, we played, and danced, and goofed off...having a much better day even with whines and tantrums thrown in.  He received lots of attention from me, and I realized how much I enjoyed playing with him.  It was wonderful after the day we had before.
I love my kids, even on the days I want to put Finn on the corner and sell him.  I know we are both learning through this adventure, and hopefully we will have patience for each other along the way.

.all the goodness one post can bring.

ahh sweet relief as nap time has rolled around again.  A little time for me to play catch up.  This past week was a crazy mix of family happenings around here.  Honestly, we didn't plan it that way, it just sort of happened.   On Thursday my dad entered the ranks of retirees.  I can't believe my father is old enough to be such a thing.  It's strange that something that is not happening to me directly, can feel so life changing.  It just confirms to me that time is marching on at too fast a rate for my liking.
All of my siblings gathered en mass to send him off proper as he left his last day of work.  The grand kids released balloons (or loons as Finn calls them) as a farewell tribute, and of course we all gathered in celebration for dinner.


























On Saturday, our nephew Lucas was baptized.  Lucas is such a fun kid, and I especially love how he plays so nicely with Finn.  I think I will have to steal him for a few afternoons so that Finn can have a change of playmates, for I fear he must be getting bored of me.

Finally the week ended with Meg's blessing.  We were fortunate that all the family still showed up, what with all the time we had been together the last three days.  I always plan to get pictures with everyone, but it seems that in all the bustle I always forget.  SO, instead I just took a few dozen pictures of little miss.

I'm not a seamstress by any means, but I did sew up her dress.  Thank heavens she still fit in it.  I was worried with how much she's packing on.

and mostly I just love her face she's pulling in this picture.

Little miss cooperated nicely during the blessing that Roy gave, and didn't make a peep.  Finn on the other hand was working his best 2 year old magic, and creating havoc while I tried to keep him relatively still and quiet...not going to happen.  I've determined he needs A LOT more one on one attention, as this past week has been epic in tantrums, and whineyness.  Despite what I've said about that little man of ours, he really is a sweet boy who is inquisitive, and smart.  He is saying so much more that I can understand now, and is starting to put words together (much to my relief), making for much easier understanding in what he is trying to communicate.  He loves on his sister a lot, and is learning to be softer in his approach.

I didn't notice until after, but yes he is pouring out the protein mix as I was taking the picture. 

he still loves lining things up...silly boy...I sure do love him!

After such a busy week, we are looking forward to a little more routine, and maybe even getting out to the library or the like this week.  Wish us luck!