Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I have been fighting some kind of nastiness for the past few weeks. I will be sick for a few days than feel like I'm becoming human again only to be slammed into the ground by another dose of whatever it is I have. I'm at the hacking out a lung stage if you were curious. Consequently, I have been throwing in the "why me" card lately as well as the "life is so hard" phrase which is really very pathetic of me. I imagine we all get like that when we feel sick and nappy, but today I was given a good dose of perspective. While perusing blogs, I discovered that my good friend Amy's husband had been killed in Action in Iraq. I couldn't believe what I was reading. My cute friend and her two boys were suddenly without a husband and father. Amazingly enough, out of this sudden tragedy Amy had the best perspective. She truly has an understanding of God's plan for her and her family. And although she is hurting beyond anything I can imagine, she still can go on knowing God is in charge of everything. Reading her letter to him really brought me back to earth and helped put things into perspective. So thanks Amy for being an example of strength and understanding even in the midst of tragedy. I know there is a bigger reality out there, and I need to remember that when I feel like I have it rough.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Unrealistic Reality

I have come to the conclusion that there are two very opposing sides to me. I guess I have always had them, but their disparity is more evident lately. The one side of me declares itself independent and happy with no need for extra frills or attention. I enjoy this side of me and embrace it often. Then there is another side that seems to rear its head at the most inappropriate times. This side of me is expectation filled and emotionally needy, and when this part of me comes out to play...its not a good day. I feel totally driven by my unrealistic ideals of what society says is reality and what will make you happy, but it always turns out to be just empty. Inevitably, I end up looking like an idiot and putting pressure on Roy to live up to these expectations that he could never live up to. Luckily, the more I make mistakes, the more I learn from them (or at least that's the plan). I'm learning that there is so much more substance and Joy to my reality than what Hollywood could create. I'm learning I don't need a holiday to tell me when to show someone I love them. And most of all I'm learning that I wouldn't want to go through it with anyone but Roy.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Old Man

For some time now, Roy has been having issues with his tendons, more specifically his Achilles. The guy who used to be able to run no stop, can only run for a limited time after which he can't walk properly for a day. He has been able to channel his energy into other activities that he enjoys such as swimming and biking, but deep down I can tell he misses his running days. We started trying new things to see if Roy's tendons would heal themselves. Of course the first step was to stop running all together. Than we changed shoes and tried inserts. While all of these things have helped, they haven't given him the ability to run again. We have been doing a lot of research and we have come across two things that we are excited to try. One was a specialized athletic tape. This is the type of stuff that you see all over athletes now in funky criss-cross patterns on the shoulders, knees, hamstrings, calf's, etc. It was designed to work with the bodies natural way of healing and speed up recovery. The other is a shoe, but not any normal shoe. It's called the fivefinger shoe and is designed as if you were walking barefoot.
We don't know if any of these will help Roy's poor tendons, but we are willing to try anything so the old man can run again.

What the...?

While on our way home from lunch today, Jill and I passed a spherical object in the middle of the road. We took notice, but didn't have the time to properly check out the ambiguous ball. On the way home I said off-handedly, "looks like a hair ball". You can imagine our surprise when upon closer inspection, it was indeed a hair ball. A disgusting, size of a softball, not from an animal, random hairball. Strange things are afoot at the Vista Montana!

Monday, February 2, 2009


I paid a lovely little visit to the dentist today, and while I can't say it's my favorite place to be, it could be worse. He is very good at listening to his patients needs and is very sensitive about my fear of all things dentist. So in I went, and an hour later out I came with that weird numb sensation on left side of my face. It's that feeling of not really knowing what's going on on that side of your face. I mean your talking and smiling and everything sounds ok, but you can't tell if you look ok. Well as I was passing the mirror as I was leaving I glanced over to see I looked like a stroke survivor (no offense meant). I instantly became very self-conscious and kept covering up my mouth as I was talking to the receptionist. My fear was only magnified when I returned to work and Jill gave one look at my smile and bust out into fits of laughter and started asking if she could take a picture. I can't blame her, I would want a picture of me if I was in her place as well, but the answer is no, and I'm going to be hanging out in the bathroom until I can feel my face again.