.firsts.

Last night was the first night in a week were I slept.  I'm talking the sleep of the dead.  A sleep without waking up to go to the bathroom 3 or 4 times.  A sleep without waking babies.  A sleep without sore ribs or restless legs.  And best of all...a sleep without a stomach bug or contractions.  It was seriously the best thing!  I didn't stir until Roy was kissing me goodbye to go to work around 7, and the babies slept until 7:30.  That was a precious gift for this pregnant momma, especially after our second round of stomach crap.
I spent most of Wednesday night battling nausea and pain.  If you've never had the pleasure of Braxton hicks contractions mixed with a healthy dose of stomach cramps...you're not missing anything.  I pretty much wished I was dead the whole night.  Thank heavens for Roy being able to stay home and play mr. mom, and my mom providing food and cheer for my poor family.  I stayed in bed with the window opened listening to the rain and watching pride and prejudice.  I haven't been able to do that since Finn was born, so I guess there were a few happy points yesterday.  But most of all I'm just happy to feeling back to normal, and especially for wonderful...WONDERFUL sleep!

.glimmer.

The end of last week was rough.  Finn has been potty training for our second go around, and he seems to go in spurts where he does really well, and then completely resorts back to being lazy and not caring.  We have tried all sorts of positive and negative consequences seemingly getting no where.  I was beginning to feel like it might not happen at all.  On top of the frustrating moments of getting a toddler out of diapers, I'm getting less and less sleep with this pregnancy.  Baby has wedged its heel in under my right ribs, and it takes laying on my back to relieve the pain.  Unfortunately, sleeping on the back causes other pains altogether (I seem to have a lot more contractions on my back).  I suppose that is a perfect storm for my short temper, and annoyance.  I was also trying to get the taxes done this week too, and that just added to the stress of it all.  So I guess looking back, I can see where these emotions where stemming from.  My mom, in her kindness and wisdom, suggested we get ourselves to the Temple.  We arranged to go Saturday night, but the whole day leading up to it was terrible.  Roy and I were equally annoyed with each other, and we were short with the kids.  The tension was palpable the whole day!  We were running late to my parents which made my frustration with Roy even more acute, but being in the Temple was just what we needed.  You really can't hold onto your anger and frustration if you open your heart to the spirit.  Sitting together in the Celestial room with Roy, it was as if the whole day and all of it's emotions had never existed.  It was so wonderful to sit and let go of all the unhappy things we had let take over our day.
That seemed to turn the rest of the weekend around, we found that Finn's toys are a great motivational tool for staying dry.  If he has an accident then we take one of his toys and put it into time out and he can only get it back if he stays dry the rest of the day.  It took 2 days and he has been dry ever since without a fuss or a fight.  Just when I felt like there was no hope for Finn, suddenly things have turned around and become a positive learning experience for us both.
I'm so grateful for those glimmers of hope and light when everything seems to be failing or falling down all around us.  It may be just a moment of peace or reprieve with your best friend after a terrible day, or finding a motivational tool for your potty training toddler, but those moments can lift your heart and make the weight just a little lighter.

.a little bit of everything.

I've been thinking of so many things that I have wanted to post about and just haven't got around to doing anything about it.  Of course now that I'm sitting down to do it, I can't remember anything of interest that I want to put down, but I'll try to put something down so I don't feel like life is being missed.
With just the two kiddos and myself these days, we have managed to get out a bit more.  It has been both wonderful and exhausting all at the same time.  Before we go anywhere, I seriously consider if its worth my time and energy.   Despite that fact, we do in fact get out.  Last week we walked down to the park and played for hours.  I don't know why, but the first few warm days of the year always make me want to get out and soak it up as much as I can.  This year in particular since we didn't get out to enjoy the winter activities as much as I would have liked.  Meg wandered around soaking up the sun, and watched as Finn ran around checking out everything.  He's at a perfect age where he can do pretty much everything on his own, and I don't have to crawl after him, or worry about him falling of the taller toys, and Meg isn't quite to the age where she's too curious yet, so it works out for all of us.

On the days that it's still just a little too cold to get out, we find ways to entertain ourselves at home.

 Finn loves tractors and cooking...sometimes at the same time.  He is such a creative little boy, and mimics what I do in the kitchen a lot.  He loves bread making days, and requests to help make dinner a lot.  Sometimes it's a lot more work, but his excitement is so great, I can't say no...plus it keeps him busy and out of trouble.

 This is the smile I'm going to miss.  This was our last day with Gavin (about 2 weeks ago).

Getting a picture of Meg is becoming more and more elusive these days as she can't sit still for anything.  Her current obsession is any and all remotes.  She is teething like crazy and has five teeth with more on the way.  She already LOVES shoes!  If we put any on her feet she will walk around constantly looking at her feet, and she is often found trying to put on Finn's shoes.

 A few things about this picture:
-Both kids aren't wearing any pants because Roy just changed them.  Does anyone else's husband never put back on their pants after diaper changes?
-Although Meg is not wearing her pants she is wearing a jacket...this girl loves clothes too.
-These kids just love reading books with daddy, and it melts my heart!

It's been a busy past few weeks, with kids, work, and just plain life.  Roy has been doing lots of extra things that have kept him gone, and I have felt burned out all around.  I told Roy I needed to take some time for myself so I went and had my first ever pre-natal message.  It was AWESOME!  I can't justify the expense as often as I would like to, but I needed it for my sanity.   A complete hour of just ME!  I think me and the baby both appreciated that.

As far as baby and me go, we are in a good spot.  I regret not having done a journal of anything leading up to the birth of #3, and wish I would have kept track a little better of all the things that this pregnancy has brought besides all the emotional upheaval.  More and more I have felt how blessed we are to have had three healthy pregnancies and babies, and how important it is to be able to bring these sweet babies into a good home where they are loved and cared for.  Heavenly Father has blessed us, and we have an obligation to care and teach these children.  It still all feels overwhelming at times, but I know we will adjust and grow, just like we have with Finn and Meg.   At first I felt like this was such a burden (and in a lot of ways it can be), but I was looking at it the wrong way.  I've read a lot of things lately and talked to a lot of people that have helped me see the bigger picture a little better.  I've had to change my expectations, and give up a lot of the control to God, but through it I've learned to be at peace with our situation.  We may not sell our house and get into a bigger house before we out grow this place, and we ARE having three babies under 4, but those aren't bad things.  It's all working out for our good if we continue to do all we can the best that we can.

.remembering.

Last night as I was watching the opening ceremonies to the Sochi Olympic games, I was remembering my travels to St. Petersburg, Russia back when I was in college.  It's been so many years since then, but I could still recall many of the amazing things I saw and learned on that, my maiden travel voyage.  Strangely one of which is the metro's warning about closing doors...am I the only who has random foreign language sayings come to mind when they hear a certain sound?
That was my first trip outside of the U.S.
It was my first trip flying solo (although not originally planned that way)
It was my fist time having to get a visa, which we found out we had to have as I was leaving Salt Lake
It was my first time that I walked the streets of New York City looking for the Russian Consulate to get my overnight visa.
It was my first time riding in a New York taxi.
It was my first time traveling 12+ hours (I didn't sleep a wink because I was so nervous about navigating the Russian Airport by myself).
It was my first time experiencing life outside of my bubble ( it was a good bubble mom & dad).
It was scary, fun, exciting, eye opening, wonderful, and gave me the desire to travel!

 At the St. Peter and Paul fortress.  Behind you can take a gander at the ice capped river and the line of nearly naked bodies sunbathing along the fortress wall.  I think this day it was about 35 degrees...just above freezing.

 I was dumb enough to think that I would be warm enough with the coat and scarf that I would wear in Logan winters.  I wasn't.  Even in March, St. Petersburg is COLD COLD COLD.  Tamara (the women I stayed with), lent me her shapka to help keep me warm.  It was AWESOME, and yes very warm!

Near the summer palace with a Pushkin monument.

What an amazing world we live in, and I'm so grateful to have been able to see some of it!