Monday, March 14, 2011

.yo yo.

*sigh*
Since the beginning of December I had told my boss that I had wanted to come back to work. We had made this decision after looking at our finances and realizing how tight it would be without my salary...in fact we wouldn't even be able to afford insurance for Finn and I. Of course we only wanted me to work for a little bit until we could figure out another plan. Since January I have been dreading March 16th, and of course the week has finally come. I have had so much anxiety about finding someone to watch the little dude, as well as thinking about pumping. In fact while Roy was at Youth Conference this weekend I was at my parents, but I was just sick to my stomache and crying randomly. On Sunday, I finally hit the wall and decided that I needed to stay home with Finn...instant PEACE! It was as if a weight had been lifted. I don't know how we will make ends meet, and I don't know how we will insure the little man and me, but I DO KNOW that I need to be home. So whatever happens I have the confirmation of that. I had to talk to my awesome boss today and let him know the change of plans. I felt so bad that I even broke down and cried telling him how sorry I was about doing the whole yo yo thing. Of course he was so understanding and just gracious about working with me...which made me feel even worse for backing out at the last minute. But I definately know that I had to do it. So I will get to spend my days being a full time mom, and I'm STOKED about that. who wouldn't be when you have such a cute little man

7 comments:

Kim said...

I know exactly how you feel. The mere thought of having to go to work and leave my sweet babies in the hands of someone else makes me physically hurt. I'm so glad you have the chance to be with Finn through every moment, for they pass so quickly I'd hate to miss one.

Ilean said...

we're so happy and relieved too, Beth. It all just feels right.

judi said...

So glad you made that decision Beth! I can't imagine leaving my babies with anyone else but me. The Lord will provide - just pay your tithing! :) He has always taken care of us, just trust Him and all will be well! Love ya girl - so glad you get to be with Finn!

Liz said...

Oh, Beth, I am so happy for you and Finn. It will mean sacrifices monetarily, but I agree with Judi, pay your tithing and trust in the Lord, He will provide a way where there is none. Love you!

Hayley said...

beth, i'm sure this was not an easy decision to make, but the instant peace has got to mean that it was the right one! i'm happy for you. please let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help!!!

ANG said...

You know what I think. Ditto all these other moms. Finn is absolute #1 priority - and with Roy doing his best, and the Lord's help - everything will be fine. It's funny how all of us are RELIEVED for you. :)

Kristen Brady said...

Congrats on making a tough decision - I know you'll be blessed for doing what you feel is right! Well, we were uninsured and Shawn was in school, we got Cinergy insurance to at least cover us for emergencies - worth looking into. It's not the greatest, but it did help until something better came along!