Sometimes (a lot of times) I become very complacent in life. In fact I would venture to say it is one of my major weaknesses in life. Comfortable is my middle name. The problem with being comfortable is that you don't really change a whole lot. But lucky for me, there is life, and LIFE has a way of making you change whether you like it or not. Motherhood has been one of those life changing opportunities. Everyday it seems like something new is being learned or tested. And just when I think I'm feeling confident in an area, it changes.
Even with all the challenges of motherhood, I find myself all to often taking on the challenges without my heavenly fathers' help. Because, heck, I don't know why...it's still too easy??? Because I get too caught up in MY own projects and lists to think, "I shouldn't be doing this on my own". I guess I need bigger things to scare and change me.
I've eluded in earlier posts about my crazy health issues over the past few months, so I wont re-hash them. I've been blessed with great health my whole life, and I try be healthy and active. So to have something potentially serious happening felt scary, and unfair. I had met with my Dr. a week ago, where she took me off of my birth control, and told me to come back in a week to most likely set up an MRI. My heart was heavy with all the possibilities of cancer, stroke, ms, and the like. I focused my spiritual efforts during the week, and had a lot of heart-to-hearts with God. I came to terms that I would have to be ok with whatever would come. I felt great peace in turning it all over to the Lord, knowing that he knew what was best for me.
Yesterday, the Dr. was surprised to hear that my taste buds had returned to normal, and the numb spot had diminished. In her words, "I know your religion, and I would call that a blessing, I've never seen that happen." I would agree! I know that I'm being watched over, and my family taken care of by The Lord. And as scary and unpredictable as life is, I need to remember that, instead of being under the delusion that I have control. I'm thankful that God gives me chances to draw even closer to him through the trials of life, and learn more about the power of the Atonement. It has been a long week, but I have felt the power of heaven, and needed to acknowledge Gods love and power in our lives.