.not quite myself.

Remember weeks ago when I had all the craziness with the migraine?  I do, because there are some days when I still don't feel like myself.  My taste buds are still wack-a-doo, and I think I've just been a lot more hesitant about working out hard in general.  I don't want to aggrivate anything and bring on the migraine again, and my motivation has just been so so these past weeks.  I've been at 150 for two weeks, which is why I haven't even bothered to post a picture.  I have a few more days to meet my April goal of being back in the 140's, so we will see if I can push myself over the hump here.    Besides my lack of motivation, I'm just feeling frumpy.  This is a hard stage, because I want nothing more then to go out and buy some nice clothes that fit and aren't the same 2 pair of pants and 3 shirts I've been wearing for the last 2 months, but I'm just too cheap to do that.  I don't want to buy clothes that I won't be wearing (hopefully) in a few months.  I've just got to keep going, and hopefully get back to feeling more like myself.

Some positive things this week...
I made some new pillows

Had a bbq with friends.
Got to introduce Meg to her great grandma Tiede (I need to get a picture of those two).
Went for a run for the first time in 2 weeks.

Today, I'm moving Meg into the kids room.  I never thought I would say this, but it kind of makes me sad.  She's growing up so fast!

.goblin revisited.

Some of the things I love most about having kids, is watching them experience things that I love.  I love camping, and thank my parents for making an effort (because it IS effort with kids) to take us kids out to explore the natural world.  Some of my fondest memories growing up are of family camping trips.  This past weekend, we took a quick trip down to Goblin Valley, and enjoyed the beauty of the Utah desert.  Finn was in boy heaven with rocks and dirt as far as the eye could see.  He only stopped playing long enough to eat and sleep the whole weekend.

Sean and Roy playing Goblit in Goblin Valley...Roy couldn't resist.

Little miss on her first camping trip at 3 months.  She was an absolute champ, and did stellar.

Finn and dad roaming the hoodoos.

This lunar like landscape is desolate, but so interesting looking.

Saturday morning, Casey and Helen led us on an expedition up Wild Horse Canyon, and then off to a skylight arch.  It was such a beautiful hike through a slot canyon, and then up and over the slick rock.  Meg slept in her bjorn, while Finn and Roy jumped from rock to rock.

Momma and miss M at the skylight arch.

the fam

Almost our whole group at the arch

Wild Horse slot canyon

At the arch Finn and his cousin Zeke throwing rocks into the water.

Meg taking a breather on the sandstone.

It was a great trip that was only dampened by an end of the road carsick episode. Finn has never been carsick so I was quite unprepared for it.  That American Fork canyon can be pretty brutal coming down.  We had to improvise a bit and put Finn in my hoodie.  When we were about 30 minutes from home, I turned around to find Finn had wriggled his way out of its confines.

.not normal.

first things first...

down 4 pounds this week...what?!?  Let me just say, this has everything to do with having a migraine for the ENTIRE week.  That's right, a whole week of migraine action.  Apparently, that is completely normal, so is having numb hands and crazy taste buds.  I noticed on Tuesday, that sweet things had a nasty bitter after taste, but even salty things had lost a lot of savor.  Needless to say I haven't really felt like eating a whole lot when I can't enjoy it.
I was starting to feel crazy in my head after a week of chronic pain (so much more appreciation for people who deal with it).  But last night, at a dinner, a friend of mine who has dealt with lots of migraine, eased all of my worries, and even gave me some helpful advice on what to take to deal with the pain, because caffeine and nursing babies don't mix.    I'm hoping that this migraine wraps itself up this week, because I'm really quite done with it.

A week ago I got it in my head that I wanted to change the colored wall in our bedroom.  Am I the only person who changes their mind about paint colors 6 months after painting?  Well of course a project that should have only taken a few hours, took ALL day.  Things with 2 children take infinitely longer.  But it's finished now, and I like the color (for now).  Also I did Meg's hand print to hang next to Finn's.  I love those little hands of my babies!

speaking of babies, Meg and I got a lot of one on one time this week because Roy took Finn to give me a break everyday after work.  I LOVE that man, he has been so wonderful to take so much on this week to help with my pain.

Oh and the peas, onions, lettuce, beets, and chard are all popping up.  It's a beautiful thing!

.up and down, but mostly up.

I haven't posted anything on here lately about my weighty goals, mostly because I've just forgotten, or been distracted with other things like getting myself and home organized for spring (I love spring cleaning).  Anyways, over the past two weeks I've gained back 2 pounds.  I'm not really surprised or dissapointed...it is what it is.  I haven't been as good at eating (HELLO Easter), and I've just been so so with working out.  I was really ready to get back on track this week, and then yesterday happened.  It's amazing how unimportant workouts become when you think you might be having a stroke.  Today I've been dealing with a migraine (the remnants of what happened yesterday...occular Migraine), and have just been dealing the best I can.  I'm so grateful for the health I have and what my amazing body can do.  I can't wait to get back into some healthy routines this week, and feel better period.
As far as my March goal of fitting back into regular pants, I'm glad to report I can officially fit easily into 1 pair of 11/12s, and snuggly into my pairs of 10/11s.  My goal for this month is to get back into the 140's and keep on keep on.

.out the window.

I had grand plans for this rainy Monday, especially after the weekend.  I've been kind of slumping along these past weeks since Easter.  Not just with my physical goals, but also being just plain engaged in life...like I was just existing.  I was thinking last night, that I hope my children know how much I love them, but then I corrected my thought process and said, I'm going to show my children how much I love them.
I was ready to go this morning!  I got Finn up, and spent some time with him before breakfast talking about cars and trains.  Then I got him breakfast and turned on a show so that I could quickly get in an arm workout before we got out of the house for the day.  I had made it about half way through my strength routine, when I got that feeling of when you stand up too quickly and the blood rushes to your head.  I stopped what I was doing and waited for it to pass, but it didn't.  So I laid down and put my feet up, hoping to help the process along.  The vision in my left eye returned to normal, but my right eye had what looked like gray paint splattered across my vision.  I began to panic a bit, knowing this wasn't normal, and all the crazy scenarios started racing through my mind...stroke, retinal detachment, broken blood vessel, etc.  I quickly made an appointment with the eye Dr. and called Roy to explain the situation.  Mom came over and watched Finn while I rushed myself and Meg to the office.  Roy met us and held my hand while I tried to relax.  The eye Dr. didn't seem to think it would be anything with the eye, but dilated and looked anyways.  Sure enough, he didn't see anything.  In some ways I was relieved, but still scared because I still didn't know what was wrong.  I drove back with screaming Meg, who was mad because she was hungry and didn't understand why mom hadn't fed her yet.  I came home and mom had done what she does best...taken care of her family.  My house was clean, and Finn was playing happily.  I LOVE that women!  Pretty much my day was shot with whatever plans I had had, but she so lovingly took care of what she could.  After talking to the eye Dr. about what he thought, I decided to just lay down and sleep and see if it got better.  I laid there about 2 hours listening to my mom play with my 2 year old, and it just made me happy to know that even though I couldn't play with him, he was being well taken care of.
I came up thinking that the eye spot was better, but when I stood up that same feeling of blood rushing brought the spot right back.  Around this time Roy came home for lunch and him and my dad gave me a blessing.  I felt some peace, and Roy and I both felt that it wasn't anything serious that needed immediate attention, but that I should take the rest of day easy.  I laid down with Meg while Finn slept. I've been up since Finn woke up and the spot has gone away.  I still have a dull headache, but I think that's from my eye trying to compensate for the crazy vision.
It's been a day of scared emotions, but also of loving peace from my wonderful family.  I still don't know what may have caused it to happen (perhaps a migraine symptom), but it is what it is

.eggs and all that.

What a crazy and beautiful weekend was had around these parts.  I just have to say having kids that "get it," makes holidays 100% more enjoyable.  Leading up to Easter weekend, we talked to Finn about  dying Easter eggs, baskets, candy, Easter egg hunts, and the like.  He picked out a lovely carnation colored basket at the store, and seemed especially excited about all the egg talk.  Friday night we dyed our eggs, and did a small egg hunt with the colored eggs after.  He LOVED it!  He would have gone all night if we had let him.

he kept picking up and dropping the eggs in and out of the colors

for the life of me I can't get an honest smile out of this kid

Saturday we had our annual Sullivan picnic and Easter egg hunt.  The weather was nearly perfect, with plenty of warm sun that was so appreciated after our long cold winter.

the younglings ready to hunt some eggs

a potty trained Finn is a plumber crack Finn

I love his eager point while searching for eggs

 

reaping the rewards of the hunt...again with that smile

He thoroughly enjoyed the Easter egg hunt, and has grabbed his basket everyday since declaring, "eggs? eggs? eggs?".  I asked him what picture he wanted to color today, and he announced loudly, "Eggs!"

Sunday I wanted to keep it low key and focused more on our Savior, but we did have a few small things for the kids.

 Finn loved this puzzle...especially jumping and throwing the pieces after it was all put together

 sweet Meg and her butterfly from Grandma and Grandpa Hoffman

Finn, eager to get to the tractor

I love these beautiful children of mine.  I even got Finn to NOT smile!