.feeling stuck.

At the risk of sounding whiny, obnoxiously ungrateful, and pathetic, I just have to say this.  I'm feeling stuck!  It feels like something of the proverbial lurch around here lately, in the sense that I feel like we just can't get ahead...zero progression.  Of course I'm speaking mostly from a financial point of view.  We refinanced our mortgage on Wed, which was a positive move. Along with our new percentage rate, we cut our auto and walls-in insurance in half.  So with all these cuts in our expenses we were feeling very optimistic about putting some big bucks away to save for the bigger moves we want in our life, least of which is to get into a bigger place.  However, when we re-did our budget again last night, it just felt utterly dismal.  We don't live extravagant life's, in fact we are down right boring.  I feel like we have tried very hard to be smart about our money...we aren't perfect, in fact in hind sight there are so many things we would have done differently, but overall we are frugal and careful.  But here we are, STUCK!  How does everyone else do it?  The only debt hanging over our heads is our house, still we can't seem to make forward progress with our financial goals.  Why is that?  I'm feeling so desperate for a change, for some breathing room, and hope for something better.  I want, like anyone, for our hard work and sacrifice to pay off.   We don't want to just get by and be ok doing nothing, just so we can safe a little here and there.  We want to be able to move forward! 
Please don't hate me or feel like I'm being insensitive to others who are worse off and struggling more,  I know we are blessed beyond words and that is something that I cannot express enough.  But I also know that there is still more progress to be made for us, and it's hard to feel like it's not happening.

.where we are.

It's Saturday night, Finn is asleep, the kitchen is clean, and I finally have a moment it feels like to catch up and reflect on all the weeks happenings. 
To start off, I hit a mile marker this week.  I finally hit the 130's again on my weight.  I haven't seen those numbers since before I was married.  I started my sedentary job as soon as we got married and it seems to have all gone down hill since then.  I've remained active, but didn't eat as well as I needed to...especially while I worked.  Since being home with little man I have done fairly well, and I lost 10 pounds off my pre-pregnancy weight and have kept it off.  But I had about 25 pounds to go to get to where I wanted to be before I got pregnant again.  I decided I needed to kick it up a notch to get past this platue so this past week was a raw food week.  Basically I ate mostly raw foods and veggies the whole week...no carbs...no meat...no sugar.   I allowed myself a few indulgences like cooked veggies like squash, but pretty much it didn't do anything besides that.  It's not easy, and I slipped probably more times then not without even realizing I had (I ate a slice of cheese while making Roy a sandwich, and a few crusts from Finn's sandwiches).  But overall I followed through with my challenge, and it paid off with a break through into the 130's again.  I fit in my smallest pair of jeans again, and that feels great, but I'm not done because I know those 20 pounds can come off if I'm consistent with my food and workouts.
Besides eating like a rabbit all week, we have been stressing out trying to get our mortgage refinanced.  With interest rates as low as they have been we have been wanting to do this for awhile.  Unfortunately,  our FHA loan kind of had us stuck with a small second mortgage that had to be paid off first.  We finally found someone who not only said he could do it, but he could do it right now.  After all is said and done...our savings will be depleted, but we will be saving around $200 a month off our mortgage.  Hopefully with all the money we will be saving we can build that savings up again.
As far as that little man of ours goes.  He is walking quite good now and does it more often then not, but he still crawls if he falls at all.  He also took his first spill down some stairs, which scared the crap out of me, but he doesn't seem to be worse for the wear.  He loves dogs and cats and makes the woof woof sound when he sees one.  I love hearing him jabber all the time now especially when he  says "ohhhhh" at everything.  Pointing is his new thing and he does it when he wants anything.  I can't believe how grown up he seems to me now.
Busy weeks like these are good and productive, but I'm happy to have a Sunday to recover and prepare for our new week ahead of us.

.ok go.

I can't say that I particulaily love the band  OK Go.  I saw them once in concert, and I didn't know who they were, but after watching their first video on the treadmills, I have to say that I absolutely LOVE their music videos.
The ideas that these guys come up with are so creative and witty, that you want to watch, re-watch, and then show them to everyone you know. They are just fun videos. Their Rube Goldberg video is another hit Their latest hit is over the top and fun...I think you should watch, re-watch, and share with your friends.

.I suppose.

I should say hi or something around these parts. Life feels quiet and busy all at the same time,does that make sense? It's one of this times where there is a lot going on, but it feels like more routine then anything. But updating is good for me to keep track of what's going on at this present moment -Tuesday nights are now free since I was released as webelos leader, and I have to say I really struggled with this calling. I felt like I gave it a bare minimum effort...sorry primary, my motivation was not there. -Finn is walking more and more, and seems to balance pretty good except when he gets excited. -I have been working out ridiculously for the past 2 weeks. Sad news I've only lost a pound. Good news, my clothes are getting loosey goosey so I know that it's paying off. -we made the hard decision to sell our beautiful black truck. We no longer needed for our timing business, and it had just become another expense that we didn't need. We are making cuts so that we can be more fiscally sound, and hopefully get ourselves into a position where we can progress in other areas of our lives. So for right now we are a one car, one bike family...and I guess in our case that is like having two cars. -Im having serious anxiety over doing taxes. I have to do three sets this year, and dreading doing all of them. I wish our good friend Chelsie was still here, and I would gladly pay to have her do them. -I was happy to see the Giants win last night, not because they're my team, but because I find the manning brothers to be so endearing. -roy's mom has been in the hospital for heart problems this past week. It's sad but not all that unexpected. We are hoping she listens to this wake up call and starts making healthier life choices. -there is one checkout lady I see every time I'm at the grocery store. I'm flattered in some ways because she knows me and Finn and always asks how we are doing and says hi even when we don't go through her line. But in other ways I'm thinking, maybe we hit the grocery store WAY too often. - I'm really wanting to do some painting in our bedroom, but I'm torn on how to spend my money, because I also need some new undies, and those aren't cheap. Is that weird that I'm debating over underwear or paint? On that note we will wrap up this update and hope for more exciting routines next time.