Unrealistic Reality

I have come to the conclusion that there are two very opposing sides to me. I guess I have always had them, but their disparity is more evident lately. The one side of me declares itself independent and happy with no need for extra frills or attention. I enjoy this side of me and embrace it often. Then there is another side that seems to rear its head at the most inappropriate times. This side of me is expectation filled and emotionally needy, and when this part of me comes out to play...its not a good day. I feel totally driven by my unrealistic ideals of what society says is reality and what will make you happy, but it always turns out to be just empty. Inevitably, I end up looking like an idiot and putting pressure on Roy to live up to these expectations that he could never live up to. Luckily, the more I make mistakes, the more I learn from them (or at least that's the plan). I'm learning that there is so much more substance and Joy to my reality than what Hollywood could create. I'm learning I don't need a holiday to tell me when to show someone I love them. And most of all I'm learning that I wouldn't want to go through it with anyone but Roy.