.out the window.

I had grand plans for this rainy Monday, especially after the weekend.  I've been kind of slumping along these past weeks since Easter.  Not just with my physical goals, but also being just plain engaged in life...like I was just existing.  I was thinking last night, that I hope my children know how much I love them, but then I corrected my thought process and said, I'm going to show my children how much I love them.
I was ready to go this morning!  I got Finn up, and spent some time with him before breakfast talking about cars and trains.  Then I got him breakfast and turned on a show so that I could quickly get in an arm workout before we got out of the house for the day.  I had made it about half way through my strength routine, when I got that feeling of when you stand up too quickly and the blood rushes to your head.  I stopped what I was doing and waited for it to pass, but it didn't.  So I laid down and put my feet up, hoping to help the process along.  The vision in my left eye returned to normal, but my right eye had what looked like gray paint splattered across my vision.  I began to panic a bit, knowing this wasn't normal, and all the crazy scenarios started racing through my mind...stroke, retinal detachment, broken blood vessel, etc.  I quickly made an appointment with the eye Dr. and called Roy to explain the situation.  Mom came over and watched Finn while I rushed myself and Meg to the office.  Roy met us and held my hand while I tried to relax.  The eye Dr. didn't seem to think it would be anything with the eye, but dilated and looked anyways.  Sure enough, he didn't see anything.  In some ways I was relieved, but still scared because I still didn't know what was wrong.  I drove back with screaming Meg, who was mad because she was hungry and didn't understand why mom hadn't fed her yet.  I came home and mom had done what she does best...taken care of her family.  My house was clean, and Finn was playing happily.  I LOVE that women!  Pretty much my day was shot with whatever plans I had had, but she so lovingly took care of what she could.  After talking to the eye Dr. about what he thought, I decided to just lay down and sleep and see if it got better.  I laid there about 2 hours listening to my mom play with my 2 year old, and it just made me happy to know that even though I couldn't play with him, he was being well taken care of.
I came up thinking that the eye spot was better, but when I stood up that same feeling of blood rushing brought the spot right back.  Around this time Roy came home for lunch and him and my dad gave me a blessing.  I felt some peace, and Roy and I both felt that it wasn't anything serious that needed immediate attention, but that I should take the rest of day easy.  I laid down with Meg while Finn slept. I've been up since Finn woke up and the spot has gone away.  I still have a dull headache, but I think that's from my eye trying to compensate for the crazy vision.
It's been a day of scared emotions, but also of loving peace from my wonderful family.  I still don't know what may have caused it to happen (perhaps a migraine symptom), but it is what it is