I have found that as life slowly returns itself to a normal ryhthm, and as the energy and excitement of a new little life winds down...there is a dilema. This past week I have struggled to maintain a perspective. I know that's hard to imagine after weeks of high-grade sleep deprivation. What a precious gift mr. Finn is, and I'm not taking that back...it's just my overall orneriness with everything else that was really starting to run me into the ground. I added to my overwhelmed-ness by having a bit of a minor foot procedure done on Thursday. So it was no shock that Saturday morning I was hobbling me and the boy upstairs to feed and feeling like I was already done for the day. I greeted Roy with a scowl as he climbed the stairs behind us because I wanted him to feel what I was feeling at that moment...tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed. The poor guy didn't stand a chance! All he could say was, "where is the joy in the affliction?". I think I just stared blankly back at him...or course he was right, but that would take humility to admit...and I didn't pocess very much at that moment. Roy had just walked out the door to leave for a leadership training meeting (don't even get me started on that), when he promptly returned and said, "remember what I said about Joy in the affliction?" Of course what he was aluding to was this... 
That brought my pride down a few notches.
Some punks had busted out the rear driver side window and tried to take the stero. I'll admit it...I cried. I cried from anger, unbelief, and exhaustion. But then I stopped. There was no need for those tears. I couldn't change what had happened, but I could change my attitude. Roy took care of everything that day. He got the car fixed, he cleaned the ENTIRE house, and he sent me to my parents to have them watch Finn while I caught up on some sleep. So while saturday will most definately not go down in the books as one of the best days, I learned that I can have Joy in my afflictions if I change my attitude and realize how very blessed I am.
Just check it out-
We just love his long legs-definetly not from his mom
Milk drunk...so sweet!
4 weeks old
4 comments:
finn is so lovely.
i remember after a few weeks from when mikey was born i felt so grumpy at everyone in the world but mikey. sleep deprivation is not a nice thing. hormones either. i blame both.
hang in there.
It's okay to be grumpy - you are totally allowed to. And, I still stand by that now with a toddler. It does get easier though - the first few months are the toughest. Your Finn is just so adorable!
I love you Beth--I can feel for you too. To just say, "been there and done that" doesn't really cover it--because we all get to experience it in a different way. Thanks to Roy for being so supportive and loving.
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