.sunshine in the storm.

Last week was not a better week.  In fact I would say is was darn near exhausting on so many levels.  Sick kiddos, terrible sleep, and super busy husband is a perfect set-up for a long week.  I was in full self pity mode Sunday when Roy and I finally had a chance to sit together and talk.  The conversation culminated in being grateful for all that we have that is good instead of being broken by all that is wrong. This is just a small test, with bigger life challenges ahead of us, but somehow it felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I  know it's ok to feel days of frustration, and exhaustion...its life after all, but it's what you do about it that matters.  I read the conference talk about a sure foundation on Sunday, and it resonated with me.  There is going to come times for all of us when our hearts will fail us, and that's what will really test what we know.  I suppose when I thought about that, I realized I needed to be building my foundation during these smaller obstacles of life, in preparation for the bigger tests of life.  For me that started with recognizing the good things in the trenches.

So for the good things...
Finding an affordable solution to my health changes
Loosing another pound this week so I'm almost down 10 pounds (ughh...it's arduous work)
Having a garden for some good soil therapy
Wonderful rainy days...I love rainy days almost more then anything
A boy named Roy, and his ability and willingness to work
Two beautiful children...I mean I know I'm biased, but just look at them

Finn's poor eyes, and this is actually a lot better then they have been in days

Meg is all sweetness

I kind of like them a lot

There is so much sunshine in the world, even during the storms, if we just look for it.

.miracles.

Sometimes (a lot of times) I become very complacent in life.  In fact I would venture to say it is one of my major weaknesses in life.  Comfortable is my middle name.  The problem with being comfortable is that you don't really change a whole lot.  But lucky for me, there is life, and LIFE has a way of making you change whether you like it or not.  Motherhood has been one of those life changing opportunities.  Everyday it seems like something new is being learned or tested.  And just when I think I'm feeling confident in an area, it changes.
Even with all the challenges of motherhood, I find myself all to often taking on the challenges without my heavenly fathers' help.  Because, heck, I don't know why...it's still too easy???  Because I get too caught up in MY own projects and lists to think, "I shouldn't be doing this on my own".  I guess I need bigger things to scare and change me.
I've eluded in earlier posts about my crazy health issues over the past few months, so I wont re-hash them.  I've been blessed with great health my whole life, and I try be healthy and active.  So to have something potentially serious happening felt scary, and unfair.  I had met with my Dr. a week ago, where she took me off of my birth control, and told me to come back in a week to most likely set up an MRI.  My heart was heavy with all the possibilities of cancer, stroke, ms, and the like. I focused my spiritual efforts during the week, and had a lot of heart-to-hearts with God.  I came to terms that I would have to be ok with whatever would come.  I felt great peace in turning it all over to the Lord, knowing that he knew what was best for me.
Yesterday, the Dr. was surprised to hear that my taste buds had returned to normal, and the numb spot had diminished.  In her words,  "I know your religion, and I would call that a blessing,  I've never seen that happen."  I would agree!  I know that I'm being watched over, and my family taken care of by The Lord.  And as scary and unpredictable as life is, I need to remember that, instead of being under the delusion that I have control.  I'm thankful that God gives me chances to draw even closer to him through the trials of life, and learn more about the power of the Atonement.  It has been a long week, but I have felt the power of heaven, and needed to acknowledge Gods love and power in our lives.

.this, that, & a whole lot of nothing.

I'm so happy to see the other side of last week.  It seemed incredibly busy and filled with more stress then usual.  To start off with...lets check in...

Happy to finally see 150 give up the ghost...especially after a weekend wedding and mothers day treats.
I've been dealing with some lingering health issues, and have seen a Dr. with an MRI to maybe (probably) follow, so really my motivation to exercise  has wained.  My mind has just honestly been else where.  We have a follow up this week and will go from there.  I think my May goal will be to loose 5 pounds.  I came up slightly short in April, but I'm ok with that, seeing as I've been dealing with the mystery issues.  I'm going to work harder on eating healthier and drinking MORE water.  Am I the only one who struggles with drinking enough water?

I took the kids up to the zoo on Tuesday.  It was fun, even with all the class field trips going on.  Finn had absolutely no interest in the Elephants, and refused to get out of the stroller.  He LOVED the monkeys, sea lions, seals, polar bear, tiger, and the tractors.  Sure glad we went to the zoo to see all the tractors Finn.

These two love the water animals.  Oh and Finn climbing...ALL THE TIME!

Finn has become incredibly busy, and independent lately.  Needless to say there has been more then our fair share of tantrums thrown, and exhausted parents.  I was that mother on mothers day who got kicked in the face during church and then swatted her son in frustration.  Yes, MOTHER OF THE YEAR!  He is sure testing my patience and mothering skills of late, but I sure do love that busy busy busy boy.

Besides being a frustrating two year old, he is also talking SO much.  I love hearing him say so much whenever we go somewhere.  He knows his colors, and will always tell me the colors of the cars and trucks on the road or the animals he sees.

Finally on Saturday we travelled up to Logan for a wedding.  My old roommate Colette had asked me to play the guitar for her first dance months ago.  Since I really haven't played since college, and especially since being married, I wasn't really confident in my abilities.  But I just couldn't say no.  I practiced as much as I could with two crazy kids, and pulled off a decent performance.  I hope Colette liked it, because I was so nervous I was going to ruin her first dance.  Also in a side note...a bird pooped on me.  First time for that, glad it happened at a WEDDING!

While in Logan, I got the chance to drive around my old stomping grounds.  It was so strange to be back...very nostalgic.  I drove up to Hillside (the apartments where I lived the longest),  The big tree out front, and giant juniper bush are gone.  They've paved the entrance and exit, where only dirt and pot holes used to exist.  But it was still very much the same place.

Hillside...Where the wild things are (saying etched into the wall in the alley)

College is past and gone, and in a lot of ways I'm glad to be out of it, but there will always be a part of my heart in Logan.  They were happy years!  

This week, we hopefully will get some more answers about what is going on with me, have a better hold on my crazy two year old, and be overall more healthy.  Happy Monday all!

.4.

*I'm a bit late on this one, but I wanted to see how much my baby had grown at her dr. appointment yesterday before I posted anything.*

Sweet miss M, you've reached the ripe ol' age of 4 months (that's a long time in baby time).  In just over two months you've grown so much.  You weigh a healthy 13.5 pounds and have grown 2 inches.  You are stellar at holding your head and you follow everything with your eyes.  Which is saying something since you have an older brother who is constantly moving.  You like to sit up and see everything...no laying for you.  You can sit pretty well with the boppy around you, but haven't started rolling yet.  I suppose it's because mommy doesn't do a lot of tummy time with you.  She's constantly afraid Finn will somehow fall or trip on you...mommy worries.
You are talking and screeching a lot, and just started giggling.  You will blow raspberries back when mom and dad do them to you.  It's fun to watch your eyes light up when we do them and then gather enough spit to do your own.  And trust me, you have ENOUGH spit...I've never seen so much drool child!
We are constantly amazed at what a beautifully pear shaped child you are (so different then tadpole brother).  We feel confident that you will fit wonderfully in the swim diapers this summer, in which brother is just barely filling out.  We will just appreciate all your bottom heavy-ness as long as it lasts...it makes us happy!
Miss Meg, you are one sweet wonderful addition to our brood, and we thankful that your are continuing to grow big and healthy.  We are truly blessed to call you apart of our family!

she loves grabbing her shirts and sucking on them

all smiles

such beautiful blue eyes

taking a hard nap

weighing in at 4 months

sitting pretty

grabbing and sucking on toys.